Monday, April 30, 2007

Abridged Comics: Giant-Sized X-Men, UXM #94 - #104

Here is all you need to know about Giant-Sized X-Men #1 and Uncanny X-Men #94 - #104, boiled down to one panel an issue.

Giant-Sized X-Men #1: The all new, all different X-Men join together to fight for justice in a world filled with prejudice and intolerance.

Uncanny X-Men #94: Professor Xavier is voted off the island.

Uncanny X-Men #95: Thunderbird gets himself blown up and it becomes a big deal for years. But seriously, the guy was a fucking douchebag.

Uncanny X-Men #96: Nightcrawler finds Wolverine's copy of "She's All That."

Uncanny X-Men #97: Cyclops fights Havok. Again.

Uncanny X-Men #98: Nightcrawler disguises himself as a 70's porn star. He ends up nailing his foster sister.

Uncanny X-Men #99: He may have skin made of steel, but Colossus is a total wuss when when it comes to a stomach ache.

Uncanny X-Men #100: Jean uses her powers to take Corbeau's knowledge of flying spacecraft. And his credit card numbers.

Uncanny X-Men #101: Geez, that narrator is a real dick!

Uncanny X-Men #102: Behold, the larval form of "I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!"

Uncanny X-Men #103: You see, originally Chris Claremont was going to have Logan be a super-evolved wolverine. But since that is completely retarded, ha came up with all the Weapon X stuff. So... this leprechaun must be absolutely fucking insane. For the sake of continuity.

Uncanny X-Men #104: The X-Men fight Magneto. That is all.